


The Children of Summer

by NanoWHYmo



Series: The Price of Loyalty [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Canon Rewrite, Coming of Age, F/M, Family Issues, Family Secrets, First Crush, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gon thinks his friends are weird, Heaven's Arena Arc (Hunter X Hunter), Killua is very bad with girls, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Parental Leorio Paladiknight, Protective Killua Zoldyck, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Yorkshin City | Yorknew City Arc (Hunter X Hunter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanoWHYmo/pseuds/NanoWHYmo
Summary: Rem takes her cue from the changing seasons. When she meets up with Killua and Gon again, she wants to be a different person than the one they left behind; a BETTER person. One they would be proud to call their friend... and if that means shedding light on the past, so be it. Sequel to "The Price of Loyalty."
Relationships: Killua Zoldyck/Original Character(s), Killua Zoldyck/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Price of Loyalty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702783
Comments: 29
Kudos: 42





	1. Descendant

A/N - Yay! I’m back! Thanks so much to any returning readers; you guys are the best! And if you’re new, you may want to read my other story, “The Price of Loyalty,” to get a feel for who Rem is and why her relationships with the others are what they are. Otherwise, you may get confused later on.

If you really, _really_ don’t want to be bothered though (and I understand, sometimes having to read a multi-part series is not what I’m in the mood for either), here are the cliffnotes:

( ** **Spoilers incoming for TPoL. Last chance to go read it first!**** )

Unbeknownst to Killua, Airem grew up practically next door to him on Kukuroo Mountain as the adopted daughter of the Gatewarden, Zebro. She was brought there by Illumi Zoldyck, who acquired guardianship over her… under suspicious circumstances. She was cast out by her birth family (for seemingly no real reason), leaving her with some pretty deep-seated abandonment and attachment issues. Desperate for his approval, Rem accompanies Illumi to the Hunter Exam and shares information with him about Killua and his friends that helps Illumi in his plans to break his brother’s spirit and manipulate him. Guilt-stricken and wanting to make up for her involvement, Rem comes clean to the others and does what she can to help them get Killua back. Her friends eventually forgive her, and she comes to realize her relationship with the Zoldycks is even more twisted than she thought. She’s left with a lot of questions, and decides to go her separate way for a while to see if she can find answers…

Finally, apologies for posting the notes this way, but last time I used the notes sections on the first chapter of my fic, and they messed up. I'll only do this on the first chapter though, no worries.

* * *

****Descendant**** :

_In astrology, the descendant tells us about the kind of people that appear in our lives with whom we tend to create connections.  
It refers to all the qualities we admire in others (because we lack them in ourselves). _

_It is also said that our descendant reflects a potential rival or enemy…  
Someone who appears on our path to challenge us and make us understand our less desirable traits. _

_Where love is concerned, it helps us to avoid creating dependence and instead, open the path for equal partnership.  
Only by embracing the lighter side of our nature while understanding the dark can we build lasting, emotionally healthy relationships..._

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

* * *

Airem had never been the type of person to just rush into things.

She was cautious - almost to a fault - and on the rare occasions when she did take risks, it was usually after she’d turned the thought over in her head enough to decide the potential rewards outweighed the consequences of failure…

It took a few days to recover from her rather one-sided fight with Canary. It took a few more for her to track the girl down and work up the courage to request they spar together.

The apprentice-butler had given her a baffled look before letting her know - voice halting in a way that made her seem much less intimidating than before - that she needed to ask permission from her superiors.

To their combined amazement, permission was granted, so long as the arrangement didn’t interfere with Canary’s other duties.

They didn’t speak very much the first few times.

Rem knew her friendship with Killua was the only reason Canary tolerated her, so she tried not to bother her with small talk.

But as soon as it became clear just how _much_ Canary’s fighting ability outstripped hers, it was much harder for the two of them not to exchange words regardless. For whatever reason - whether it was because she couldn’t abide bad technique, or she just didn’t like the thought of someone so unskilled around Killua - the older girl eventually stepped into a quasi-teaching role.

“You have good fundamentals.”

Rem froze in the act of taking a drink, her face warming at the unexpected praise. To say the older girl _never_ complimented her was an understatement. She could literally count the number of civil conversations Canary had initiated on one hand.

“You just lack confidence and aren’t very adaptive. Fighting doesn’t come naturally for you, does it?”

Airem furrowed her brow at the question. Canary had seen in _days_ what had taken her many years of denial to realize.

Perhaps it was because of Illumi’s frequent absences, but no matter how much blood and sweat and tears she shed trying to improve, she was _still_ a mediocre fighter compared to the other people in her life. Violence was rarely her first response in a bad situation, and her mentor had taught her to see that hesitation as weakness. Even now, hearing Canary point it out caused her a twinge of shame.

Training under _him_ had taught her to constantly question her instincts, which only made her even more unsure; a dangerous trait to have in a fight.

With Canary, she felt a bit more confident, so it made sense that the older girl would be the one to notice such a flaw in her abilities.

“Variety in opponents is what you need, but you could stand to improve your speed too. Practice shuffling and shifting your weight faster. Again.” Nothing further was said about her deficiencies. Canary’s teaching style meant that she was more likely to offer solutions than punish her mistakes. 

All in all, she was a fair, surprisingly patient teacher, and every one of their “sparring sessions” (they were really more like private lessons) provided Rem with a better understanding of how to use her body in a fight. She didn’t quite master anything, but she dedicated herself to going over each and every improvement, trying her best to commit them to memory.

Rem also found it much easier to learn when she wasn’t constantly tripping over herself to please her instructor.

… There was admittedly at least a _little_ tripping though.

She didn’t want to push, but she kind of, sort of… really wanted the older girl to like her. Or at least respect her.

They built up a pretty intense routine over the next two weeks, but all too soon, Rem began getting the feeling that she might be on thin ice with the other butlers… It was hard to tell, given how disciplined they were - and how cagey all of the household’s staff were in general - but she definitely noticed a growing lack of welcome anytime she showed up looking for Canary.

They were always polite, but she felt a tense energy from them whenever her back was turned. More than once, she’d spotted a flash of metal in the distance, right at eye level.

Like sunlight glinting off a visor.

She supposed she was technically still a trespasser. And she wasn’t quite sure enough of her standing there to push her luck much longer…

They were well into May by the time Rem decided it was time to approach her father about finally leaving the mountain.

“Way ahead of you, pup. I’ve already done some research and written, so they’re expecting you any day now.”

“So… you know…?”

The look he gave her was equal parts exasperated and fond. “I know _you,_ Airem. And I know you have a lot still to do.”

Zebro produced a nice sum of money for her to travel with as soon as they agreed on the arrangements. She took it tearfully, recognizing he must have been squirreling it away for a while to have saved so much.

She felt guilty leaving again so soon, but to be fair, she’d been up front about her plans since the boys left at the end of April. To her surprise, Canary came to see her off alongside her father, and actually seemed a little sad to see her go.

“Take care of Killua for me when you see him again,” she requested. There was a strong note of wistfulness in her tone as she said it, and Rem suddenly found herself wondering what exactly the older girl’s feelings were toward the young Zoldyck… before shaking the curiosity off as quick as she could. It was none of her business.

“I’ll… do my best, but I’m not sure what _I_ can do for Killua that he can’t do himself...” Rem answered cautiously.

“Taking care of someone doesn’t always mean protecting them from danger, pup,” her father said. “Sometimes it’s just _being_ with them; to talk to. To lean on.”

She felt hesitant about making such a promise. Killua might not appreciate her butting into his life anymore than she already had, after all… But this was something Canary obviously needed to hear, and she’d done so much for all of them... Rem nodded once, firmly, and Canary’s answering smile made her heart feel warm and full.

The two girls waved goodbye before Rem finally turned to her father with tears in her eyes. She’d miss him so much. It seemed like only days had passed, when really, she’d been home nearly a month. Time had flown by.

She kissed his old, weather-beaten face and boarded the next bus off the mountain, headed for a smallish village out near the coast, nearly three days away…

****oOoOoOo** **

Her arrival at Azure Shores was met with comparatively little fanfare.

She was the last one left on the bus by that point, so the stop was pretty much deserted where she got off. In no rush to face the inevitable just yet, she wandered a bit and took in some of the local sights.

It was the first time she’d ever seen the open ocean, having travelled to the Hunter Exam site by airship.

Airem felt a kind of awe, being near a body of water so vast. A strong breeze rolled over her, carrying the smell of saltwater as she found an overlook where she could take in the full view.

It wasn’t particularly beautiful, but her eyes roved everything hungrily, just the same.

The first thing she noticed was that the water was closer to iron-gray in color than blue; nothing like what she’d pictured. There were fishing boats in the distance and a long quay where dockworkers stood around, smoking, waiting to load and unload any ships that came in. Other than that, there didn’t seem to be many people about. The sky overhead threatened rain.

The few businesses that lined the road were mostly the kind you would expect to cater to a town full of sailors, fisherman, and their like: seedy-looking bars and the occasional diner.

Of course, there was also the slightly dilapidated sewing and alterations shop whose address matched the envelope she had in her pack.

Airem gathered herself and took a step inside.

A bell announced her entrance with a cheerful tinkle that didn’t quite match the surroundings. The place was clean, but old, and cluttered beyond imagination, as it seemed every available surface was covered with clothing or some form of sewing equipment. There were racks of presumably finished garments ready for pickup, and a service counter with an ancient-looking cash register on it. Behind that was a doorway with a gauzy curtain drawn over it.

It was extremely quiet, save the low mumble of a tv from some back room. At first, she thought no one was there.

“Hello?” she called, hoping - and yet also terrified - that someone might be in the back.

“Hello,” said a little voice somewhere behind the counter. “Can I help you?”

Rem stepped closer to see who was addressing her and found herself staring into a rather solemn-looking boy’s face. He couldn’t have been more than eight or nine, standing about a head taller than the counter, and only _just_ able to peer over all the odds and ends stacked there. He was very tan, like many of the dock-workers she’d seen around, and he had a slight gap where he seemed to be missing some teeth.

“Ah… No, thank you. Are there any grown-ups around?” she asked, nonplussed.

“It’s only Grandmother and I here right now, but she said not to disturb her with any bullshit,” the boy said, in a soft, conversational tone. The swear word dropped out of his mouth so easily it was clear he heard this kind of language all the time. Rem stared, but he continued with a small smile before she could reply. “I can take in whatever needs altering. I end up doing most of it anyway. We have a special on embroidery right now too, since I’m trying to get more practice. ”

She’d say he was bragging, except that his tone was even, conveying nothing but simple fact. The way he leaned forward hopefully at the end - like any kid eager to be given a task to relieve his boredom - was oddly charming though, and Rem gave him a smile in return.

“I’m sure your work is great, but I’m actually here to meet somebody.”

“Oh.”

He suddenly looked much younger, gaping at her with round eyes.

“Are you…? GRANDMA, she’s here!” he suddenly shouted, without taking his gaze off of her.

There was a loud, startled curse from the next room, followed by rapid shuffling. “Who are you calling ‘Grandma,’ you brat--?”

The older woman who shoved the curtain aside looked to be in her mid-60s, at least. She was short and squat, but imposing, with an expression somewhere between ‘annoyance’ and ‘indigestion’ wrinkling her broad face. Her hair was completely gray.

Rem had no idea what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t for the old woman to sigh irritably and complain: “You couldn’t have shown up during commercials? Hmph. I guess I’ll have a look at you.”

She rounded the counter - moving rather easily for her age - and Rem was stunned to think that she might have already found who she was looking for.

“I’m looking for the Aranui clan,” she said, feeling as if she were trying to speak through a mouthful of cotton.

“No you’re not.”

She blinked at the old woman’s sharp response. “Uh… yes? I am.”

“You aren’t looking for the damn clan,” she said decisively, before making her way even closer to Rem, as if to peer directly in her eyes. “You’re looking for the _matron_ of Clan Aranui. And you’ve found her.”

“Then, you’re…?”

“Feh, the correct title is technically ‘matriarch,’ but it sounds more than a little pretentious, given the current state things. We’re all leaves in the fucking wind at this point.”

Her mouth was gaping open, she knew, and Rem wasn’t sure why she felt so… shell-shocked, given her plan had always been to come looking for her birth family. Perhaps it was because she hadn’t seen a single blood relative since she was six? To be confronted with the reality of one standing right in front of her was… overwhelming, to say the least.

“Just don’t call me Grandma, and we should get along fine,” the matron continued, giving her a formidable look that promised consequences if she didn’t agree. Rem quickly snapped out of her stupor and nodded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. You’re smarter than you look, girl. Stand up straight now. I need to see what we’ve got to work with, here.”

A strange compulsion to obey had her dropping her backpack and straightening her spine before she’d even consciously decided to move. The old woman’s face wrinkled further in a thoughtful frown.

“You definitely got your mother’s looks, ” she said. “She was always a little on the softer side, with the freckles and the big doe-eyes… Damn. I was hoping to see more Aranui in you. You’ve got our complexion, but just barely. Haven’t they got any fucking _sun_ on that mountain you live on? You’re more fit than she was, at least. You train? Zebro said you train.”

“Yes, every day.” ‘ _Is my mother here?_ ’ she wanted to ask, but she was suddenly terrified to think she might see either of her parents again so soon. She wasn’t _ready_! She hadn’t had time to think of what to say or how to act--!

“Good, that’ll be useful once we get started. The ones who are already attuned with their bodies and senses usually have an easier time of it.”

“And easier time with what… ma’am?” She was having trouble following the conversation with her head spinning in panic.

“You’ll see,” the matriarch dismissed, much to Rem’s frustration. “What’s your name, again?”

“Airem.”

“Fuck me, I thought your _brother’s_ name was stupid. ‘Airem _._ ’ Gods, that son of mine… Fine, _Airem_ \--”

_Brother?_ Her throat suddenly constricted, and she felt a weakness sweep through her entire body. So it was true… Her parents had had another child after they’d sent her off with Illumi. Noticing her sudden pallor, the woman abruptly stopped talking.

“You never got to meet him, did you?” she said, in a much softer voice. The underlying harshness was still there, but there was compassion too. It clicked in Rem’s mind, finally, that she wasn’t addressing just any long-lost family member… This was her _grandmother_ she was talking to _._

Refusing to cry, Rem nodded.

There was a beat of silence and then, “Don’t be rude, Ruan. Introduce yourself to your older sister.”

Airem’s breath went shaky with some powerful emotion she couldn’t identify. She turned her gaze to where the matriarch of Clan Aranui was pointing, and found the boy from earlier looking back at her in awe.

As she watched, his expression shifted to excitement, like sunshine breaking through the clouds. She was helpless but to smile back.

* * *

****  
xXxXxXx** **

* * *

A/N - Thanks so much to [OpalBlackMoon on DeviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/opalblackmoon) for creating the gorgeous image of an older (post-PoL, mid-CoS) Airem! It was really worth every penny! If you guys are interested, you should check out some of her other work. She’s done a version of Killua for me as well.

So, heads-up, we’re going to be breezing through the entire Heaven’s Arena arc here, with the majority of it being in the next chapter. I may be fudging the timeline a bit also, since I don’t _think_ it’s made clear exactly when Gon and Killua arrived at the Arena; only that they’re on Whale Island by late August, in time for their meet-up with the others on September 1st. I may be wrong, but at least this way there’s plenty of time for all of them to grow and learn new things.

Anyone up for some creative liberties to be taken with NEN use? I know I am.

Also, yes, Rem’s full name is Airem Aranui and her brother’s is Ruan Aranui. I wanted to continue the convention of unusual character-naming from the series, and thought these tongue-twisters would be fun, lol. Even if sassy Grandma Aranui doesn’t seem to think so…

Next chapter should be posted up soonish and don’t worry, I’ll cool it on these author’s notes. They won’t usually be this crazy, and again, I'm really sorry about the format... All feedback is welcome, whether you’re a returning reader or a new face! I love hearing from you guys. :) Be safe, all!


	2. Eclipse

* * *

_A time of upheaval; they mark the beginnings of great change, both externally and internally._

_Sometimes for the better… but often for worse._

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

* * *

It was still dark outside when she felt someone shake her awake.

“You were screaming, girl,” her grandmother’s voice growled sleepily. “Get some water and walk it off.”

Rem mumbled a quiet apology, before stumbling out of the room in the dark to do as she was bid. It had only been a few days since she’d arrived and she didn’t fully know the way around the house yet.

The nightmares that had plagued her for the last several years were starting to become a problem again. She used to think they came mostly when she was stressed or upset, but having spent most of the time during the Hunter Exam in that state without her sleep being disturbed (except for that one night on the airship), she had come to suspect they were actually triggered by feelings of loneliness and isolation.

She missed her friends.

Anytime things got too quiet - which was nearly ALL the time, given her only two companions were a soft-spoken boy and taciturn old lady - her thoughts wandered to what they were doing and whether or not they missed her too… _They never wrote me back_ , she thought forlornly, remembering the three letters she’d sent to Heaven’s Arena. Neither Gon nor Killua struck her as very good correspondents, but she’d been hoping to get a picture or postcard back at least…

The current situation wasn’t helping either. Her initial meeting with her family had gone both better and worse than she’d feared.

Ru - as he’d bashfully invited her to call him - turned out to be quite shy. He clammed up a little after they were formally introduced, but was still _visibly_ happy she was there, hovering nearby as their grandmother showed her around. He nearly stepped on her toes several times in his eagerness to be close, but Rem didn’t mind.

She was just as fascinated with him, to tell the truth.

Her fears that she might have been ‘replaced’ by him ended up amounting to very little. It just seemed petty to be cold to him for actions their parents took before he was even born. If she was honest with herself, Rem had to admit that some part of her had been desperate for this; had been wishing for an instant familial connection like this all her life…

His warm acceptance was more than she could have hoped for, and even if the rest of the trip turned out to be a wash, she knew getting the chance to meet her brother had been worth it.

****oOoOoOo** **

_“She can sleep in my room, Grandmother,” he offered quietly when the woman started grumbling about sleeping arrangements._

_“Absolutely not. You already have to share with your father, and gods know_ that _conversation is going to be shit enough already.”_

_“Father? I-Is he here?” Rem asked, voice shaking slightly._

_“He works in the evenings and sleeps most of the day, so he comes and goes at odd hours.”_

_“Oh,” she said, trying to decide whether she felt more relieved or upset that she might not see much of him. “What about Mother?”_

_She instantly felt the boy next to her give a subtle flinch and then cling even closer to her side._

_“Zebro didn’t tell you, did he?” For a moment, the matron showed signs of her age. Weariness and regret made her wrinkles appear deeper. “Maybe he didn’t know… She died three years ago. Heart gave out.”_

****oOoOoOo** **

Shaking off the recent, terrible memory, Rem focused all her attention on carefully washing the glass she’d used and putting it up to dry.

The worst part of hearing the news was how much… nothing… it made her feel.

Surely it should… hurt more? Was her lack of reaction just because it had been so long since she’d last seen them? Or did it have to do with the circumstances that were still such a mystery to her? They’d lived apart for over half of Rem’s life, but how much of that was actually her mother’s fault?

Grandmother hadn’t been forthcoming with much beyond that, and she’d been too stunned to think of any questions. Even so, she should still be heartbroken, right? She didn’t suffer from a general lack of empathy, and this was her _mother_.

So was something wrong with her?

She kept waiting for the later stages of grief to come, but whatever distant piece of her mourned over the death, _devastation_ was still far from what she felt… And the guilt of that meant she thought about it - constantly.

It was still too early to start making breakfast, so instead of returning to her borrowed futon, Rem crept to the back door to let herself outside. She knew she wasn’t going to get anymore sleep that night.

The sun hadn’t properly come up yet, giving the air an almost unseasonal chill, but it was peaceful and quiet, aside from the distant sounds of the surf. She was comfortable enough in the oversize sweatshirt of her dad’s that she slept in.

In a desperate attempt to clear her mind, she went through the motions of her first fight with Canary. It was a memory she’d dwelt on almost obsessively the past month; the driving force behind her seeking the older girl out for sparring lessons after the boys had left.

Thinking about it so frequently had left her with a clear recollection of every thought and movement she’d gone through that night, and one of her favorite forms of mental exercise was to take that moment apart in her mind, and guide her body physically through the many things she could have done differently. Using what she’d learned from Canary afterward, the possibilities seemed endless… or at least, she hadn’t run out of scenarios yet.

Tonight, she was imagining the moment where her ribs had broken.

In her memory, she’d weakly raised her arms to block Canary’s rod-weapon. Rem closed her eyes and imagined the older girl bearing down on her, about to land the attack that effectively ended the fight.

She slid her feet into the approximate position they’d been in, and this time, instead of raising her hands at all, she drew her elbows in tightly and turtled, taking the brunt of the hit on the back of her shoulder instead, lessening the overall impact. From there, she bobbed under the rod, imagining Canary’s blow had left her momentarily open. She threw a hook where Canary’s kidney would have been. It wouldn’t have connected - the butler was much too quick - but from there, the fight would have continued.

_‘Knowing what I know now, I still probably wouldn’t have won,’_ she admitted to herself with a rueful smile, ‘ _but I might’ve at least lasted until Gon and the others showed up._ ’

She wasn’t sure how long her exercise went on for, but she had worked up a sweat by the time a soft shuffling of feet alerted her to someone else’s presence.

Rem froze in the act of mopping her forehead with a sleeve.

There, on the pebbled pathway leading up to the house, was her father, obviously returning home from work.

She was struck randomly with how very old he looked. He could have his mother’s sibling, rather than her son, with deep lines carved in his forehead and liberal gray in his beard. He’d always seemed like such a big, powerful man when she was a child, but now she could see that he was maybe half a meter taller than her, at most, and he’d gone a bit soft around the middle…

He watched her with narrowed, almost suspicious, eyes. When she dropped her arm, his shoulders tensed, and Rem searched for some resemblance between them, only to come up empty.

He was a stranger. So she greeted him like one.

“Good morning.” She didn’t know what else to do or say. The weight of a thousand questions hung between them, making the crisp air seem suddenly stifling, but he was the adult. Rem waited for him to take the lead.

“You’ve come to learn your nen techniques then?” he asked, brusque to the point that Rem felt her brows turn up in an involuntary expression of hurt _._

“Nen?” she repeated, stupidly.

“Your grandmother will tell you about it. I’m heading up to bed,” he announced, moving briskly up the path to the right of her.

“Wait!” she called when he breezed by without even fully meeting her gaze. This couldn’t be where the conversation ended, surely? He couldn’t think she’d just let him walk by without asking anything! “I-- I have questions and you owe me answers!”

He halted, but didn’t turn to face her. “Ask your grandmother. She’ll tell you anything you want to know,” he repeated.

“I need to hear it from you… Father.” She couldn’t bring herself to call him whatever childish term she’d used as a baby. It would feel wrong to both of them, she knew, and the risk of rejection was still too high. “What happened that night?”

“What night?” he asked, sounding too wooden to be angry. She couldn’t see his face. The sun was rising, but she wasn’t quite brave enough to turn around and face him. She was too scared she might cry and be unable to speak.

“You know what night, Father. The night Illumi took me away.”

“What exactly do you want me to say, girl?” he growled. “You were there, weren’t you? You remember what I said.”

“I was _six_ and some of it still makes no sense to me. Why did you and Mother act like having a second child meant I had to go?” She was well past old enough to know things didn’t work like that. “Why did you say all those things to me?”

“To hurt you,” her father said, voice rough but steady. Unapologetic. “To get you to leave with him and stay gone.”

She’d suspected as much. Too bad that didn’t make it any easier to hear… She let the bitterness inside her trickle into her voice.

“ _Why_ though? You wanted to get rid of me that much?”

“ENOUGH!” He suddenly roared, frightening a flock of birds out of a nearby tree. The early morning quiet was shattered, and Rem flinched, feeling the peace she’d carefully built up around her shatter as well. Her lip trembled. “I won’t-- I _won’t_ have this conversation with you.”

She’d thought she was ready; that enough time had passed to harden her heart against him. She’d thought that since she’d imagined this exact conversation going hundreds of different ways, she’d have some kind of emotional defense in place when it actually happened…

She hadn’t expected this… vehemence though.

“Do us both a favor and stay out of my sight.I want _nothing_ to do with you.”

With that, he practically broke the front door off its hinges in his haste to get inside. He was out of sight before she could think of a reply.

After a moment, Rem realized her legs were shaking and folded them beneath her rather than let herself fall. Quietly, she sat on the ground. 

It started with a soft hiccup, then a sob… soon joined by another, until…

Without a thought for volume, Rem cried for what felt like hours, greedily gasping in air whenever the need to breathe became too painful. Just because he’d lived down to all of her expectations didn’t mean his words hadn’t hurt her.

No one could hurt you like family.

She might have continued indefinitely if a loud command hadn’t come from the porch behind her.

“ _STOP CRYING and get off the damn ground._ ”

Again, that strange compulsion took over her body and Rem was forced to obey. This time, however, there was _pain_. Her tears receded as suddenly as a faucet turning off, and Rem felt the muscles in her face twitch with the struggle to contain them. She stood shakily, feeling as though three days worth of physical strain had hit her all at once.

Despite the unpleasantness though, she was grateful for the harsh command, in a way. It effectively took the responsibility of gathering her will out of her hands.

Looking up, she met her grandmother’s steely - though not unkind - gaze.

“No more, girl. You have too much work ahead of you to worry about the past right now.”

“I _need_ to know though,” she insisted, finding the strength to argue despite the sudden emotional and physical exhaustion. “The whole reason I came was for answers.”

Her grandmother studied her.

That was the only word for it. ‘Examined’ sounded too cold for the careful way her dark eyes assessed Rem’s face. Whatever she was searching for, she seemed to find, as she slowly nodded her understanding.

“All right then, granddaughter-mine, I’ll make you a deal: learn from me. Train with me every day. Apply yourself to everything I teach, and I promise I’ll answer any questions you have, to the best of my knowledge.”

The desire for approval was strong, as always - but history had taught her she had a bad habit of trying too hard to please others…

For a brief moment, she wished her friends were there.

Gon would be encouraging and able to sniff out any falsehoods easily. Leorio would put in his two cents, but have her back no matter what she decided to do. Killua… She thought for a second about what he’d say.

He’d tell her she was taking this all way too seriously. He’d say screw the old man, take any opportunity to get stronger, and if this turned out badly, she could cross that bridge when she got to it. What was she so afraid of?

“Okay,” she finally agreed.

Her grandmother smirked, as if there had been no doubt in her mind that Rem would come around.

“Wonderful,” she drawled. “We’ll get started tonight then. I’ve got a little thing called ‘nen’ to show you, and trust me, brat… I’m about to blow your damn _mind_.”

****oOoOoOo** **

****

“First things first, how much do you know about Clan Aranui?” she asked, with little preamble that evening after dinner.

“A little.” Rem racked her memory for everything Zebro had said. She felt a little tired, for some reason. “I know we’re not just one single family, but more like… branches off the same ancestral tree? We’re spread all over the place, which is why it took Zebro and me a while to track you down. We’re not as famous or feared as the Zoldycks.”

“Not even close,” the matron said shortly. “In the wider world of Hunters and nen-users, we’re really nothing special. Strength and power are not what we’re known for.” Despite her words, her eyes took on a shrewd, almost mischievous gleam.

“Now ask me what we _are_ known for…”

Rem found herself leaning forward despite her fatigue, eager to forget her earlier confrontation with her father. Learning more about her birth family was something she never thought she’d have the opportunity for… and if, in the end, it led to Grandmother answering some of her questions, she could power through whatever was ahead. She’d keep her end of the bargain.

“What are we known for?”

Satisfied with her captive audience, the matron’s grumpy face momentarily lightened in a grin. “Our family has a very… interesting relationship with life energy.”

“Our aura, right?”

“Sh. Don’t interrupt me, brat. To really appreciate that distinction, first you have to understand that while all people _have_ aura, and anyone can learn to manipulate it, only some can do it with _skill_. These people use _nen_ , the technique that allows you to harness your aura.”

“Only some? So--” she shut up at her grandmother’s glare.

“Only some. It’s definitely possible for families with nen-users to pass on their talent for it to their children - the Zoldycks, for example, are living proof of that - but _manifestations_ of nen are more or less unique; if for no other reason than every nen-user is shaped differently by their experiences.”

She leaned closer, as if imparting some great secret: “ _Except for us._ ”

“... What do you mean?”

“I mean that almost every girl born to Clan Aranui has become a nen-user; and for whatever reason, every one of them has manifested their nen the same exact way, quirks and all.”

“And this is… good? This is what we’re known for?” Rem couldn’t help feeling a bit let down. After so much buildup, she’d kind of been hoping to hear she was - in some small way, at least - _special_. Special, like Gon and Killua and the others were special… Instead, it seemed she wasn’t even special or unique _in her own family_.

She tried her best, but Rem knew she didn’t hold a candle to most of her friends in terms of ability, and it would be a lie to say that didn’t bother her. She didn’t even have medical or technical knowledge to fall back on, like Leorio.

Her face fell in disappointment.

“Of course it’s good,” her grandmother snapped, obviously upset she hadn’t gotten the awestruck reaction she’d wanted. “Do you not understand what I’m telling you? You have an advantage almost no one else has! In me, you have a teacher that understands everything about your nen ability and how it works. You can refine your techniques by learning from _our_ mistakes. _We can cover ground together in weeks that would take your average nen-user months._ ”

“We can?” Rem asked, doubtfully. No training in her life had ever come _easy_ , and nothing about nen promised to be an exception. Her limbs ached already…

“Trust me. I’m no great warrior, but I’ve had decades of practice honing our specific nen ability. Even if I can’t help you master any advanced techniques, I can at least teach you what I _do_ know. Now, normally, we would begin by opening up your aura nodes, but I - ah - already did that earlier today when I lost my temper and issued you a command. You’re probably still feeling the effects. Sorry about that,” she had the grace to look a little sheepish. “You should be recovered enough by now to try the first, and most important, of the four basic techniques: Ten.”

As if he’d been waiting for his cue, Ru scurried into the room and dropped a pair of cushions on the floor for them to sit on. They were using the living area, since it afforded more open space than the house’s other rooms.

Her grandmother collapsed on one of the cushions with a faint groan, and Rem followed suit gingerly, happy to relax again.

“That fatigue you’ve been feeling? It doesn’t feel natural, does it?” Rem shook her head, automatically copying the matron as she moved to sit in a lotus position. “It’s because when I opened your aura nodes, your life energy began escaping at a much faster rate than what’s normal. If you don’t stop it soon, you’ll pass out… or face being permanently crippled in nen-use.”

“What?” Rem wheezed, feeling faint. “How do I--?”

“You need to _pay attention_ \--” she felt her awareness supernaturally sharpen at the order. “--and look inward. You need to focus on your weakness and where it’s coming from. It’s risky to wait as long as we have, but your nodes should feel like gaping holes by now. Even with no experience looking, you should be able to find them.”

Indeed, almost as soon as she focused on the leeching sensation of aura draining off her, she was able to pinpoint where the open nodes were on her body.

“What do I do?” she breathed, trying not to panic. Now that she was _looking_ , it felt a little like watching herself bleed out. “Should I try to close them?”

In fact, imagining the nodes as open wounds, she could almost feel her aura - warm, thick, and _alive,_ like blood - all around her. Carrying the analogy all the way through, she had enough experience with bleeding wounds to know that trying to cut off the flow was not going to help if you’d lost too much already. And her nodes had been open a while…

Scared, she willed her aura to stop siphoning away… and instead of trying to completely stop it from pouring out, imagined gathering what she could in and around her, where it belonged. In a strange way, it was almost like trying to give herself an aura transfusion.

She failed the first attempt, her thoughts scattering as she wondered whether or not it was even possible to redirect aura the way she was trying to...

Then, it was like she found a good… grip (the idea of ‘gripping’ something as insubstantial and fluid as aura didn’t really fit, but she had no better word for it) and the weakness in her body lessened. “Like… this?” 

“You need to-- huh.” The matron’s words broke off. Amazingly - impossibly - even without proper instruction, the girl had managed to figure out how to gather her aura around herself and prevent it from escaping. “Yes. You need to maintain that as long as you can.”

“If I stop, will my aura start draining away again?” Rem worried. Her grandmother chuckled, feeling the first stirrings of pride toward this strange, wayward child of theirs. Granted, figuring out how to use Ten was much easier for them than for most nen-users, given what differentiated them, but still…

“Yes. Resting, and especially sleeping, will help you replenish it though, so I suggest you take a bath and go right to bed once we’re done here.”

“What do I need to do until then?” She already felt her _Ten_ loosening as her concentration wavered.

“Zebro taught you to meditate, didn’t he? Clear your mind of everything except keeping your aura around you. We’ll sustain it as long as your discipline holds out.”

Rem closed her eyes and focused for all she was worth. She wasn’t looking forward to ‘bleeding’ again. Her grandmother’s voice, when she heard it, took on a teasing, challenging quality that almost reminded her of Killua.

“Now’s your chance to impress me, brat. Your great-great aunt holds the record of two full hours when she first tried _Ten_. Think you can beat her?”

“She can, Grandmother! Airem looks really strong,” her little brother’s voice insisted earnestly.

Trying - and failing - not to smile, Rem forced herself to turn all her attention inward. Two hours felt doable. Her aura bathed her in warm, secure sensations that she was in no hurry to lose.

Or maybe that was affection?

Either way, she’d break that record if it killed her.

****oOoOoOo** **

****

She beat the record that first night by going for _four_ hours.

Afterward, she had a blinding migraine, but it was worth it to come back to her grandmother’s enthusiastic praise (“Good shit, girl. I knew those Aranui genes were hiding somewhere!”) and her brother’s happy, but drowsy grin. The little boy had obviously been fighting off sleep to congratulate her, scurrying off to bed soon after.

Their grandmother made to leave the room as well, before Rem hurriedly stopped her. “You said you’d answer my questions,” she reminded.

The old woman sighed. “Only one tonight. We’re both exhausted.”

It had to be the important one, then. The one that kept her up at night.

“Why was I handed over to Illumi Zoldyck?”

“Have you ever asked _him_ why he took you? He’s really the only one who could fully answer that question. I can only give you our side…”

“Grandmother, _please_.”

“Fine,” she said, wearily. “You weren’t wrong when you said we’re all branched off the same family tree, but you, your father, brother, and I… we’re not branched very far from the ‘trunk,’ so to speak. We’re actually the _most_ direct result of generations of careful breeding to keep our family’s genealogical weirdness alive. I’m stuck with the stupid fucking title of ‘Matriarch’ for a reason.”

The emphasis on the words ‘careful breeding’ made her brow furrow. Pushing aside for a moment the unflattering comparisons to farm animals, did this mean that the Aranuis practiced some level of in-breeding? Did this mean they expected _her_ to…?

“Are you… saying that the Zoldycks took me in for…?” She found herself unable to continue.

Desperately waiting for the woman to deny it, she was dismayed to see her visibly hesitate, instead.

“I don’t have all the information, like I said, but yes, those were probably their eventual plans for you. It wouldn’t have been the first time female members of our clan attracted attention from powerful families wanting guaranteed nen-users added to their line, and because of your close relation to me, you’re no bargain-basement member of the clan. _That said_ \--!” The matriarch hurriedly interrupted her own explanation, possibly because Rem looked like she was seconds away from throwing up.

“The Zoldycks are, again, one of the most powerful families out there. If they were looking to… _engage_ Illumi, or one of their other children, they’d literally have their pick of almost any bride they could want. Scavenging a small girl from a busted-up clan like ours - even one descended directly from the current matriarch - is completely beneath them.”

“So, if you don’t think that’s the reason, then why do _you_ think he took me?” Rem demanded, feeling her temper - always so slow to get going - rise.

“That’s a different question,” the matron evaded sternly. “You asked why you were handed over. Your father agreed to it because he was a short-sighted _idiot._ He ignored all the obvious signs that didn’t add up because there was more _dignity_ in believing they wanted to engage you to their son, than to admit he just really didn’t have a choice. Our family was never in a position to deny the Zoldycks anything… And for whatever reason, they wanted _you_.”

Rem considered pushing. This made even less sense than half of the crazy ideas she’d come up with on her own, and it left _huge_ questions without any explanation at all… like why her father had gone to such lengths to cut all ties with her.

Why had he been so cruel to her, if it really was all just a simple matter of… betrothal? She wasn’t even sure what to call it; the whole idea seemed outdated and ridiculous. People still did this? To their _children_?

“Grandmother, can’t you answer just _one_ \--?”

“Absolutely not. Get to bed before you pass out more permanently, brat. You need more practice before you’ll be able to sustain Ten while you sleep. Until then, getting lots of rest and eating regularly will help keep you on your feet without us having to close your nodes.”

That appeared to be the end of the conversation. Tired and unable to fight the command in the clan matron’s tone, she reluctantly gave up and resolved to ask again another night.

****oOoOoOo** **

From there, training took off.

Every morning and evening, she took a few hours to quietly practice maintaining her _Ten_ for longer and longer periods of time. She might have been able to push herself further and faster, but there were only so many hours in the day… Also, her matron wasn’t having it.

Rem had always possessed a strong drive to prove herself, and it didn’t take long, usually, for her mentor-figures to notice it.

“The first time is a right of passage, and a practical lesson in what can happen if you overdo it. Constantly push and it’ll stunt your progress,” she lectured irritably. “Keep in mind, brat: pushing one’s boundaries may make you stronger, but power will _destroy you_ without control.”

Eventually, Rem found that the old woman was right. By pacing herself, she gradually grew comfortable enough in the technique that she sometimes found herself using it throughout the day without even thinking about it. About six days after they started, she woke up to find her grandmother smugly grinning over her. She was officially using Ten in her sleep.

The day before she ‘graduated’ to learning the next of the four basic techniques, her grandmother gave her the day off from training as a reward for her hard work.

Rem was happy.

She’d never advanced so quickly in any kind of training before. Or had a trainer who was openly proud of her. Zebro didn’t really count in that regard; she identified him as ‘Dad,’ and he’d always praised everything she did, even if she was mediocre at it.

Before she could wonder what to do with herself all day, she was accosted by Ruan in the hall as soon as she left her grandmother’s room.

“Rem! Grandmother said you’re taking a break today. You want to see some of the stuff I’ve been working on?” he asked, hopefully.

She’d had a vague idea of going down to explore the beach some, but there was no question her plans had to change once his big dark eyes were pleading up at her. Here was a chance to make up some of the years she’d lost out on, getting to know her brother. The sea could wait.

Ruan led the way out of the house, down to the little alterations shop in town. Azure Shores looked a little prettier to her that day, with her brother shyly pointing out the occasional funny landmark and where the good places to eat were.

When they arrived, he proudly showed off his little workspace in the back where he did most of his alterations.

Rem made completely genuine sounds of admiration at the neatness and organization on display. He clearly took his work very seriously, and his care shown especially in the perfect lines of stitches scattered across the many clothing items he presented to her. 

“You did this yourself?” she asked, running a finger delicately across the meticulous sewing. Other than the hue of the thread being the tiniest bit darker - a flaw that was beyond his control, given he had to make use of what he was given - it was impossible to tell where the original stitches ended and his newer ones began.

“That’s nothing,” he said, grinning. He was definitely boasting this time, but Rem couldn’t help thinking he’d earned the right. “I’d show you some of the custom embroidered stuff I’ve done, but the only pieces I have here are unfinished.”

“You’re like an artist who only shows his work when it’s done,” she joked.

He sobered immediately. “That’s what Mom used to say. She was the one who taught me.”

Fresh pain made Rem’s heart throb a little as she watched her brother struggle not to cry. “Sorry. You must… miss her a lot, huh?”

“’S okay,” he mumbled. “Rem?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to leave?” was the question, but what she actually heard was: _Are you going to leave_ me _?_

His voice sounded so small and sad… She felt like a monster as she spoke the truth.

“Yes. I promised my friends I would see them again.”

“Oh,” he said, obviously hurt. “When?”

“Not for a little while, but soon. Sometime in August, probably.” She couldn’t help but try to soften the blow, making an uncharacteristically impulsive decision on the spot. “I won’t be gone forever though. I’ll come back and visit when I can.”

“Really? Even with Dad being…?” He trailed off, looking heartbreakingly hopeful.

“Yeah. I’ll definitely come back.” And she meant it.

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - This might be the longest chapter I’ve ever written. Of anything… I tried my best not to let it get too info-dumpy, but I couldn’t avoid dropping a few bombs in this chapter… It’s been a loooooong time coming, believe me! 
> 
> I know we’re still in the dark about some things, but we’re dealing with a lot of incomplete information here. The only people really in the know…? They ain’t talkin. Yet. If it isn’t clear already, this is a story full of unreliable narrators. 
> 
> I’m really sorry if this chapter was a drag to read… I know that reading two chapters worth of an OC’s personal history and solo adventures isn’t nearly as interesting as watching her interact with her love interest, but… well, I’ll be honest. I could have happily kept the story here in Azure Shores for another couple chapters, at least, and this is already a very truncated version of what I originally wanted to write. Hope you guys will forgive me the indulgence. :)
> 
> Um, please let me know if you enjoyed it? Or, just sit tight, and we’ll be back to your regularly scheduled HxH timeline by the end of the next chapter. I think you’ll notice I decided to leave the full reveal of Rem’s nen abilities for next chapter as well? Something to look forward to. I’m not done messing around with the nen system just yet, but you should still be able to recognize it by the time I’m done. Promise. ;)
> 
> Thanks to everyone for the lovely response last chapter! I’m so happy to be back!


	3. Mutable

_The Mutable signs are flexible, adaptable and restless for movement; change. They are able to see life from many perspectives, making them great communicators. They represent the break-down before seasonal shift, so there's a touch of chaos to their natures._

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

* * *

“Not bad, brat,” Grandmother sighed contentedly, patting her full stomach. “Sure we can’t convince you to stick around a little longer? The boys’ll have a hard time getting used to takeout every night again, now that you’ve spoiled us all with your home cooking.”

“Everything I’ve made so far is pretty simple stuff,” she replied, avoiding the actual question. “I could leave a few recipes, if you want?”

This was not the first time in the last month that the matron had hinted Rem could stay longer if she wanted to. She got the sense that maybe Ru wasn’t the only one in the house starved for company and only her father’s presence there (and the continued tension between them) prevented any offers from being made outright.

Hopefully the matron was mostly joking though. Her training had been going well, but outside of that, Rem was still struggling to figure out her place in the household.

Taking over the job of preparing meals was her main contribution, and even in that, she was limited to whatever she could scrounge up from the kitchen. Zebro had given her money to travel on, and she could easily get more through her Hunter’s license if she needed it, but buying groceries for the whole household still felt… presumptuous in a way she wasn’t comfortable with.

They were family, but they were also still strangers in a lot of ways.

She didn’t know what their favorites were. She didn’t even know if the reason they stuck mostly to a fish-based diet was because they didn’t eat other meats, or because fish was the most widely-available food staple around. She suspected beef and pork were very expensive in Azure Shores, likely having to be imported from elsewhere.

Rem smiled wistfully as the memory of cooking a certain slow-roasted pork dish came to mind. It seemed so long ago now…

“Oi,” the old woman barked, interrupting her train of thought. “I said you have mail, girl, pay attention!”

She unceremoniously tossed a small envelope in her granddaughter’s lap.

Rem lifted it with trembling fingers. An unfamiliar chicken-scratch address across the front made her whole face break out into a grin.

“It’s from Gon and Killua!”

“Good. I was beginning to think you’d made friends with a bunch of assholes.”

“Grandmother!” Rem and her brother yelled simultaneously before giggling. The matron looked on, trying to appear her usual grouchy self, but unable to completely hide a smirk.

By tacit agreement, the other two cleared up after the meal while Rem immediately ran to her shared room and ripped open her letter.

Gon’s handwriting was laughably bad. It slanted upward and downward at random points, as if he’d gotten distracted and carried away at different times while writing.

_Rem,_

_We’re glad you’re okay and Heaven’s Arena has been amazing! It was really brave of you to go looking for your clan. Hopefully everything works out, but even if it doesn’t don’t worry! If you want, you can meet us on Whale Island around August 21st! We’re going to spend a few days there before we meet the others in Yorknew City!_

_Love,_

_Gon_

Normally she would find it funny (and endearing) that Gon seemed to punctuate exclusively with exclamation points, but she was way too excited herself to judge. To see them a whole week sooner than planned!

Her stomach flipped pleasantly at the small postscript written at the bottom of the letter. The handwriting was different; neater and made up of light strokes, as if the owner could barely be bothered to put pen to paper…

_Hope you’ve improved your technique. See you soon._

He hadn’t felt the need to sign his name, but Rem knew immediately who it must have been. She was learning that Killua wasn’t the best at communicating, so the fact that he wrote at all made her smile widely.

If only she was far enough along in her training to impress them! There was no doubt in her mind that the two younger boys were well on their way to mastering the basics of nen by now, if they hadn’t already.

After “graduating” from the Ten stage, she’d gone ahead and sailed through her Zetsu lessons with even greater confidence and ease. Where the first principle of nen had taken her a full week to hone, Zetsu had taken less than four days. Her grandmother’s pride in her accomplishments grew, and Rem let herself bask in the unfamiliar glow of success.

And then, Ren came along, and Rem’s self-assurance was quickly whittled back down to normal levels…

She’d expected the Aranui matron to be disappointed and angry with her lack of progress - and she _did_ sometimes lose her temper when she had to correct a mistake more than once - but the old woman was surprisingly understanding about it. Rem couldn’t have been more grateful, given she was probably beating herself up about it enough for both of them anyway.

She knew she shouldn’t, given the demonstration she’d received the day they’d started. It was just hard to silence the criticisms in her head that always seemed to speak in Illumi’s cold voice…

****oOoOoOo** **

_“This is where shit gets really weird,” the elder cautioned. “Remember what I said about our relationship with nen being unique? That all starts with Ren… Watch my aura.”_

_Rem had already been completely focused on her grandmother’s life energy, so when the old woman appeared to flex slightly and her aura reacted to it, she was prepared._

_It was like watching kindling catch fire in slow motion._

_The energy expanded steadily into a slow-moving cloud twice as impressive as it had been previously. It enveloped the matron who stood calmly at its center._

_“In most nen-users, Ren is achieved by explosively increasing their output of aura, and it looks just like that: an explosion. Ours, on the other hand…” She gestured and the cloud of aura followed her movement, swirling almost playfully. “It’s hard to put into words, but you can tell it doesn’t look like anything you could use to hurt anyone, right?”_

_“Right…” Rem agreed. While it definitely looked like there was more aura, the technique was far from the violent explosion of power she’d described._

_“That’s because - at its core - our shit doesn’t work that way. Where most nen-users can channel their hostility into their Ren and use it to warn others not to fuck with them, our Ren…” As the matron spoke, a lone tendril of aura drifted outward, stretching toward Rem like an accusing finger. “Girl, go punch your brother in the throat.”_

_“What?!” she gasped, even as her body moved to carry out the command. “No! I don’t want to!”_

_Her feet moved without her permission - haltingly as she tried to fight it - and no matter how she tried to dig her heels in, they wouldn’t stop. Her fist drew back._

_Ruan, who usually hung out with them when he wasn’t at the shop, barely glanced up. That day he’d been sitting, quietly working on a cross-stitch project that he’d started to take a break with regular embroidery. He didn’t seem to recognize any danger, needle flying through fabric faster than her panicked gaze could follow._

_“Ru, get up! Get away! I can’t--!”_

_“It’s fine, Rem. Grandma won’t let anything happen to me,” he said with complete certainty, giving his sister a brief smile._

_“Keep calling me Grandma, and that might change, brat,” the woman growled._

_Far from comforted, Rem desperately tried to remember her training enough to figure out a way to take command of her body back._

_The instant she activated Ten, her limbs stopped moving._

_“Good,” her grandmother praised mildly, as though she hadn’t just ordered one of her grandchildren to maim the other. Rem couldn’t do much but stare at her in disbelief, breathing hard. “Would’ve been better if you’d already had Ten activated like you’re supposed to, but it helped me make my point, at least.”_

_Rem was still reeling. “That was Ren?”_

_“Not exactly. That was an expression of my nen, using the aura brought out by Ren,” she said, confusingly. “It’ll be more clear once we get into Hatsu, but the thing to take away is this: where other Users can intimidate and puff themselves up like peacocks, we can convince and encourage. Where they make themselves more threatening, we can make ourselves_ enticing _.”_

_“Like mind-control?” Rem asked, feeling more and more unsettled. “We can… control people?”_

_“To a point. We are Manipulators, but what I just did to you was an extreme example. You’re a kid, while I’ve had literal decades of practice doing this. Not to mention - like I said - you weren’t using nen at all. You were free the minute you used Ten, weren’t you?”_

_She nodded, the color coming back to her pale cheeks. “Yeah, but--”_

_“That’s because most nen abilities, including ours, have conditions, and work better against non-users. On top of everything else, I’m the clan matriarch,” the old woman continued with a distinct air of smugness, as if she’d been dying to bring this up for ages. “That’s one of the few perks I get. As matriarch, I have… special sway over members of my clan, which only makes sense if you think about it. In a family full of people who all have the same powers of coercion, one of us needs to trump the others or else we’d all just be compelling each other all the time!”_

_Rem felt the need to point out she’d be happy enough not compelling anyone, ever - and couldn’t imagine that desire changing any time soon - but suspected the matron probably wouldn’t appreciate it. She was still rambling on about the limits to their abilities, obviously on a roll now that the big secret was out in the open._

_“-- so obviously you won’t be able to compel any other members of the clan, just like they wouldn’t be able to compel you.”_

_“But… would they still be able to compel me if we weren’t related? Would I… be able to control other people as easily as you did, if they were weaker than me? Or non-users?”_

_Uncomfortable flashes of Illumi came to mind for some reason. Something about the label - Manipulator - sounded both alien and familiar to her. She was almost certain she’d heard it whispered either_ by _him or_ around _him, and to think that it might be just one more in the ever-increasing list of connections they had to each other… The thought made her swallow uneasily._

_Perhaps noticing her troubled expression, the matron seemed to give her answer some thought before speaking._

_“We’ll get into the real nitty-gritty of conditions and stuff when we get into Hatsu, but the key thing to keep in mind, right now, is that - unless you become matriarch someday - you will never be able to compel anyone to do anything that_ **_**they don’t want to do** _ ** _.”_

_She paused to give her words some extra gravity, and the emphasis made Rem feel a little better about the whole thing. She definitely had no designs on ever becoming matriarch, so she’d ignore that bit for now…_

_“They have to want to do the thing you’re asking them to, at least on some level. Desires don’t lie, but they’re rarely black and white. That gray area - between wanting to do something and knowing you shouldn’t - is usually where we operate. It’s also absolutely the most difficult part of learning any of this, and it’s a struggle other nen-users don’t really have to face… Lucky pricks,” she sniffed, successfully getting a smile out of her granddaughter. “Learning how to read people, and making them want to do the thing you’re asking them, are the two most vital skills you’ll need to master.”_

_“But none of that matters today! What we’re learning today_ _is Ren, so square up and show me what you can do, brat!”_

_Eager to begin now that there was a semi-clear goal in mind, Rem allowed her aura to settle into the now-familiar form it took during Ten._

_From there, she attempted to copy what she’d seen her grandmother do, but it turned out that coaxing one’s body to spontaneously produce more aura was much harder to do than maintaining it or cutting it off._

_The… juice simply wasn’t there. If she strained, she could draw a it out a little, but it took an exhausting amount of concentration and the increase was barely noticeable. Rem scowled. She should’ve known this nen thing had been too easy…_

****oOoOoOo** **

The next three weeks passed with little progress.

Despite Rem’s failure to advance, the Aranui matriarch continued to surprise her with staunch support, commiserating with her granddaughter where others might have criticized.

“Awful, isn’t it? It would be so much easier if we had anger or battle-frenzy to use as a trigger like other nen-users - at least for the first few times ‘til you get the hang of it - but the whole point is that our aura is fundamentally made of different shit… You need to WANT to influence people. It’s a very specific feeling, and you aren’t a bossy bitch like me.”

“I get it, but I can’t just _make_ myself --” She cut herself off with her own frustrated cry as her aura fizzled out yet again. Two hours into training and she was soaked in sweat - _again_ \- with nothing to show for it. _Again_.

_Wanting to manipulate others._ That was the crux of it. She had to _want_ to, for this to work…

But…

All ethics aside, convincing other people to think things or believe them had never been her strong suit. She was a terrible liar - as her actions during the Exam had proved - and didn’t know the first thing about getting her way... If anything, she was used to _being_ the victim of other peoples’ manipulations… To the point that the very _idea_ of doing it to someone else made her feel sick.

In contrast, her grandmother was practically a force of nature; a commanding presence, even in casual conversation.

The apple couldn’t have fallen further from the tree...

Maybe if she’d been brought up in the clan, she would have turned out the same way, but as it stood, Rem couldn’t remember a time where she’d been brazen enough to order someone to do anything. The very idea was laughable.

Her grandmother began taking her into town, to see if being around people might help kick-start the process.

But no matter how much she struggled, it felt like invisible chains were holding her back. Flexing her aura every which way only made it expand outward the slightest bit. She kept waiting for a breakthrough; for things to ‘click’ the way they eventually did with Ten and Zetsu.

But progress came in tiny, stingy bursts… when it came at all.

Toward the end of June, her matron decided they needed a change of pace.

“I’m not gonna mince words with you, brat… An Aranui of _your_ ability, not being able to produce the necessary aura to influence a _non-user_ , after trying for weeks? It’s weird. It means we’ve fucked up somewhere, and the only thing I can think is that we’re both underestimating how much you _don’t_ want to push anyone to do anything… We’re going to have to find some extra motivation for you; something that can help you power through whatever mental B-S is holding you back.”

They started wandering the local fish market and docks district - sometimes alone, sometimes with Ru - searching for opportunities to ‘work the crowd,’ as her grandmother liked to call it.

It wasn’t until they passed by a stall selling fresh pollack one day that she seemed struck by inspiration…

“It’d be awfully nice to have some of that fish stew you made a week ago,” the old woman hinted, suddenly jerking her head towards it. Rem was still learning the local varieties and could barely make out some cod and halibut among the other offerings. Either would work for stew alongside the pollack. “You know. The one that almost got a smile out of your father last time you made it?”

Rem quickly caught onto the ruse and fought a split second of resentment at having the wound poked.

Her grandmother knew that things were still not right between the wayward girl and her father. True to his word, he had yet to exchange any meaningful words with her since the confrontation.

Still, she couldn’t help noticing - perhaps because of her new-found sensitivity to the emotions of others through nen training - that his stance had softened a bit in some ways. He felt less _angry_ all the time, and more just…. _sad._

Through careful maneuvering with her grandmother’s support, Rem had slowly discovered that he responded well to simple civilities. A quiet, ‘would you like another serving’ at dinner never failed to earn her a nod and a stiff ‘thank you’ whenever she offered it. Over the past few weeks, he’d stopped trying so hard to avoid her, though that might have been due to how difficult it was, given his schedule.

Rem held out no hope of ever understanding what she’d done to make him suddenly hate her all those years ago… but being upset about it all the time was too exhausting.

She wasn’t looking for his love or acceptance. She had Zebro, and he was all the father she needed.

But the instinct to keep life peaceful for those around her was still strong, and the matron took advantage of that shamelessly... In this case, dinner would have to be _something_ anyway, so making a dish her father liked could only be a good idea. Making small gestures of reconciliation like this didn’t cost her very much…

Ignoring the brief pang that came from being manipulated, - she had to believe her grandmother had her best interests at heart - she stepped up to the counter with her basket. It was very early still, so they were one of the few stalls open.

“How much for two fillets?” she asked, knowing the whole point of this was for _her_ to be the one to barter.

“One thousand Jenny*,” the seller, a long-limbed, middle-aged man replied promptly. He had a very no-nonsense manner that - even a few months ago - would have made Rem feel a lot less sure of herself. Now, she smiled. It had taken her a while to get used to, but like her father, many of the people who lived in Azure Shores simply talked in very direct, almost aggressive ways. Part of life in a port town, she suspected. People came and went too quickly to bother with pleasantries.

“Ah, isn’t that a little expensive though? We have a few more items on our shopping list we need to pick up, so I can’t spend _too_ much on fish,” she said, allowing some apology to seep into her tone. She’d slowed down her speech enough to give herself time to pull her aura together. “I can give you 300 Jenny for each of them though.”

She wasn’t actually trying to force her will on anyone yet, as that would fall more under the principle of Hatsu. Her matriarch was very clear on that point.

No, her goal was simply to exude an aura of suggestibility… Make people _amenable_ to her requests and pay more attention to her than they naturally would.

Her aura flared promisingly, even if it bore little resemblance to her grandmother’s smooth, roiling Ren. Ghostly tendrils formed along the edges - visible only to someone using nen. One stretched out weakly in the man’s direction and Rem felt a swell of pride and excitement. She’d never managed to control the individual strands of aura before!

Though tempted to catch her grandmother’s eye and see if she’d noticed, Rem didn’t dare let her concentration waver now that she’d made some progress.

She was dismayed when the man only sighed and called over his shoulder, “Genaivi, come take care of this while I get the rest of the halibut unloaded.”

The switch threw her off balance, but she fought to soldier through and maintain focus.

Genaivi turned out to be a grinning, dark-haired boy… a few years older than her, if she had to guess. His friendly disposition was completely at odds with what she was used to seeing in Azure Shores, and the difference gave her pause.

He wasn’t as handsome as some Hunters she could name… but he stood in a sort of awkward slouch (the kind that only came from being an extremely tall teenager) that she found sort of… _cute?_

The thought made her nearly drop her basket.

“Hi, what can I get you?” he asked.

“Yes _,_ ” was her nonsensical reply, her mind having interpreted his question as: “can I help you?” for some reason instead.

His smile turned a little lopsided as he appeared to be debating whether or not he could laugh. He didn’t, thank goodness, but Rem felt herself turn bright red, regardless. In her defense, attempting to use Ren was taking up most of her concentration.

“Um, I was just telling your father - er, is he your father? - the man from earlier that I was wanting to buy a couple fillets. Two, if I can,” she babbled, nervously. Her eyes were glued to the display of fish in front of her. No _way_ could she look up and see what kind of face he was making. She was way too embarrassed. Hopefully Grandmother wasn’t watching.

“Right, well the going price for each fillet is about 400 Jenny,” he said, somehow still not laughing.

His words startled her into looking up, despite her earlier resolve not to. “400?”

He’d offered her a lower price than his father. She couldn’t imagine this being for any reason other than pity, but for the purposes of Ren training… maybe that would be enough to work with?

She redoubled her efforts and consciously extended her aura as far as it would go. Her breath caught when the tendrils materialized and one stretched out again, this time toward the tall boy.

Was it her imagination, or did it appear a little stronger this time? Less like a wisp of cigarette smoke, and more like a very thin, cloudy vine. “I think I only brought enough money for one, then...?” she said, testing.

Letting her statement trail off into a question - even a leading one - with no other push, was risky… He could very easily miss the hint.

Still though, if her Ren was fully activated like she hoped, then he should be hanging on to her words anyway. Unless he was _very_ oblivious, surely he’d pick up on the social cue…?

Her aura expanded again, this time in response to her hopes. ‘ _Feel bad for me. Please want to help me… Please… like me?’_ She reddened further, even as the vine that floated in Genaivi’s direction solidified.

“I guess I could…” he mumbled, looking a bit dazed. “I could let you have two… We brought in a good haul this week and you’re our first customer of the day. 600 Jenny sound fair?”

He seemed to be talking himself into the idea, smile returning in a mischievous way that unexpectedly had her thinking of Gon and Killua... Her thoughts scattered in a confused jumble of missing them, and wanting to get this right to have _something_ to show them at the end of the summer.

It was a struggle to keep the connection to her Ren strong throughout the actual transaction. Her grandmother had warned her the technique would burn through her stamina very quickly, but she hadn’t expected to be so flustered while holding it.

“Come again,” he called, throwing her a wink that absolutely destroyed any focus she had left as she scurried back to the old woman.

It took a good ten minutes for the matron to stop laughing long enough to say, “I think we’ve hit on a winning strategy for you, Granddaughter-mine. Hope there are enough cute boys around to help you perfect it.”

Rem’s only response was quiet groan.

“Don’t worry. The rest will still take time, but we’re over the hump now. It should be smooth sailing from here…”

She wasn’t sure she believed her, but they celebrated her success that night with fish stew.

On seeing the pot and side dishes prepared for their meal, Father paused. A muscle worked in his jaw, and for a moment, Rem was almost afraid she’d somehow offended him.

Then he thanked her, and helped Ruan set the table.

****oOoOoOo** **

July drew to a close, and with it, her early introduction lessons to Hatsu.

It had taken the better part of the month to get a handle on Ren, and even now, she wasn’t completely satisfied in that area. Her grandmother assured her that her skill would only grow the more she used it - now that she understood the fundamentals - and she clung to that hope harder with every exhausting trip outside.

Things became a little easier with Hatsu. She was delighted to find that the application of Hatsu flowed naturally and solidly from Ren, and she felt a sense of completion whenever she got it right.

It was like her Ren training involved building a dam up, higher and higher, trapping more and more water in reserve. As the volume increased a little more each day, there was more and more pressure to keep it all contained. Sometimes it overflowed. Sometimes the foundations _cracked_ and it would be the work of several days to build herself back up again.

Learning _Hatsu_ was a little like installing a huge spillway in her dam. One that allowed all of that built-up water to _go_ somewhere…

When it worked, the results left her feeling complete and _whole_ for the first time in her life; like a runaway piece of her soul had finally come home.

“ _Power of Suggestion_ : that’s what we’ve called our nen-ability over the years,” her grandmother explained the first time she’d successfully used Hatsu to make someone do something. She got her brother a good deal on some embroidery hoops he’d been looking over. He was working on something special, he said.

“The most basic rule is very simple: you can compel anyone - other than a fellow Aranui - to do anything so long as they actually _want_ to do it, on some level. There are other, smaller restrictions, but that’s the most important one.”

“What other restrictions do I need to keep in mind?” she asked, wanting to understand her ability as thoroughly as possible before taking it out on the road.

“Well, keeping in mind _how_ you phrase your command is super important, obviously. It’s harder to give detailed and specific commands, for example, because if the target is able to resist _part_ of it, he or she could easily shrug off the whole order. Vague and simple instructions work best, in my experience. Verbal ones.”

“Verbal?” she repeated, surprised. “You mean I can just… think a command in my head? I don’t have to say it out loud?”

“Look, it’s not complicated,” her mentor snapped. “The clearer you make your wishes - both to yourself and your opponent - and the more aura you can put behind them, the more likely it is that your compulsions will take hold. If you don’t verbalize, and you don’t even have the target’s attention, it’s going to take an inhuman amount of aura to get your order across. I won’t say it’s _impossible_ , but to give you an idea, only a few of your ancestors have _ever_ successfully compelled someone without words. On record, at least. ”

“What if my target is just… stronger than me? Like they have more aura or better control--”

“It all comes down to mind-games, girl. How much do they _want_ to do the thing you ask of them? Can you make them want to do it more?” her grandmother interrupted, likely sensing an attack of self-doubt coming on. “ _You don’t need power to change someone’s mind._ You only have to understand them, and exert enough control over yourself to reach them.”

Rem pondered that for many nights afterward. The words resonated, but she could never decide if she found them more empowering, or terrifying…

“There are certain nen-abilities out there that can counter ours, I’m sure,” she continued. “But we’re not preparing for those. We’re training you to use your ability on as many of the rest as we can…”

And train, they did…

The various fishermen, stall owners, and shop keepers around the market district all knew her on sight by this point, and many watched her with suspicion. Her ability to wrangle discounts and free merchandise bordered on the paranormal…

If she was anyone else’s granddaughter, they might have turned her away, but many had experienced the elder Aranui’s infamous temper first-hand, and most of them liked keeping her happy... On top of that, the girl’s father, Akron Aranui, was well-respected locally and the little alterations shop the family ran was the only one of its kind in town. No one wanted to risk running the Aranuis out.

Rem slowly came to the conclusion that this attitude of suspicion they had toward her, coupled with their overall desire not to offend her family, made Azure Shores the best place - possibly in the world - to train her nen ability up.

Her departure date crept closer and closer. She was surprised to feel some reluctance to leave, despite having a reunion with her friends to look forward to.

She tried to spend more time with her brother to make up for it. The two ate ice cream on the porch most nights after dinner, taking advantage of the longer days to play checkers together or skip rocks. Ru taught her a few basic stitches, and didn’t even laugh at her first mangled attempts to sew.

He didn’t laugh much at anything though, to be honest, and Rem often wondered if he’d been that way before their mom’s death… Probably not. He was a normal enough kid in most other respects.

****oOoOoOo** **

The rest of August was spent refining her Hatsu technique and picking up what little knowledge her grandmother had of the more advanced nen techniques. It wasn’t much, but she learned how to hide herself and her aura a little more effectively, without having to cut it all off with Zetsu.

She went into town every day for at least several hours, not only using nen, but just making small talk with different people. It seemed the more she learned about them and their lives, the easier it became to work her nen ability around them.

It was easy enough to use Power of Suggestion on the owner of an old tuna longliner to get him to sail her around the harbor a few times. She’d discovered he was a widow with children who weren’t interested in fishing, so she took care to present herself as someone he could talk to and show around the vessel.

It was going to be difficult to adjust when she finally left, she knew. She’d have to get used to working her Hatsu without knowing for sure what people wanted. Hopefully her skills at reading others were up to the task.

The night before she was set to leave on a huge steamship to Whale Island, she packed her belongings carefully and tried to go to bed early. She’d pre-made several meals for the family and frozen them for easy reheating later. At least one of them was a huge portion of fish stew.

Her brother had cried as they said their good-nights. He gave her a small linen handkerchief he’d embroidered; tiny golden sunflowers lovingly stitched around the edges of a soft, cream-colored background. She’d tried her best to smile for him as they hugged for the final time.

“I won’t forget my promise. Take care of everything until I come back, okay?”

The sad boy only nodded and reluctantly marched off to his bed. The matriarch of their clan took his place, looking sour as usual, though resigned.

“Keep your lessons in mind, and you should be fine, Granddaughter-mine,” she began. “And if you get in over your head, don’t be stupid and try to handle it all yourself. Call or write me for advice. Old people live for that shit.”

“Thanks, Grandma,” Rem said softly, meaning it with every inch of her heart. All stern lecturing and crude language aside, her grandmother had done a lot for her in the short time they’d known each other. She loved the old woman, and she was at least 90% sure it was reciprocated, given her only response to the hated endearment was to roll her eyes and _tsk_.

“Get your ass to bed, brat. Your father’s taking you to the harbor at the crack of dawn tomorrow.” She paused. “It’ll be your last chance to get any answers, so don’t waste it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She slept poorly. Sadness to leave, mixed with anxious excitement to see her friends again, had left her mind a mess. When she finally glimpsed the sky pinkening across the horizon, she got up, sleepily folded her borrowed bed-sheets and scribbled a last letter for Zebro to let him know she was moving on. She planned to drop it in the postbox on their way out.

Outside, her father was waiting for her on the garden path. He offered no greeting beyond a curt nod, and instead simply led the way to the far edge of town where the harbor was.

They walked in awkward silence. Rem focused her attention on the dimly lit scenery around them, hoping to etch the place into her memory, seeing as she had no idea when she’d realistically be free to return.

Eventually, she heard a quiet grunt and looked up, shocked, to find her father holding a plain, unmarked envelope toward her. “For your trip,” he said.

Inside, she found a respectable amount of Jenny…

… Around the same amount her _real_ Dad had given her when she’d left Kukuroo Mountain, in fact.

Perhaps because she’d been utterly unprepared for this - or maybe the sight of the money had been enough to trigger some latent yearning to know - she heard herself command, softly.

“Tell me why, Father. Why did you let them take me?”

He visibly struggled with himself. She waited, wondering if her grandmother had lied; if her ability _could_ work on family members after all.

“Illumi was hired to kill your mother,” he finally confessed, voice ragged with shame. “The Zoldycks live and die by their reputation for _never_ breaking their contracts, so the only way we could save her was to… give you to them, under their terms.”

“... Their terms?” Rem whispered.

“Yes. We had to -- _I_ had to ensure you would never want to come looking for us. You’re mother didn’t want to -- she cried and would have allowed herself to be killed if she hadn’t been pregnant with Ru --” Her father’s voice shook so badly that every fragment of his explanation took effort. Now that he’d started, he seemed desperate to to spit it all out and get it over with. “They needed you with them. They needed you to _want_ to be with them, for god knows what reason… And he -- when he saw that we would have a hard time keeping our end of the deal to stay away -- he --”

Rem had fallen into a kind of stupor, listening to the distant past unfold, finally, from a different perspective.

She was shocked out of it when her father - her big, cold, formidable father - let out a loud sob and covered his face with his hands. They were weather-beaten and callused, she realized. A testament to how hard he worked, _desperate_ to forget.

She barely restrained herself from reaching out to him as he wept. If she stopped him to offer comfort, she was suddenly certain she would never hear the full truth. And she had to.

She _had_ to hear the rest…

“He-- He put a needle in her head,” he cried, scrubbing at his face hard. “He put a needle in her head and told her that every time she thought of you, there would be pain. He told us to forget about you; never to speak or even _think_ your name again… That the pain would eventually kill her if we didn’t stop.”

“She--” Rem couldn’t speak. Her throat had completely shut closed. Her stomach plummeted and she now knew… She _knew_ now, how her mother had died.

“She was your mother, Rem,” her father wept bitterly, snarling through his tears in a way that would have broken her heart if he hadn’t already shattered it years before… “There was no way she could ever forget you…”

****oOoOoOo** **

She must have boarded the ship at some point, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember when or how.

She didn’t remember if she cried or not, whether she ate, or what it was. The journey could have taken a month or day for all the attention she paid to the passage of time. She was reasonably sure she’d made it to a bathroom at some point, as there was no evidence she’d soiled herself, but that was as far as her consciousness went.

Eventually, she heard someone yell something about disembarking, and she roused herself enough to find a place to splash her face with water and change clothes.

The world was a confusing mass of color and sound, and she let herself be swept up in it all. Hopefully that would get her off the ship…

What was she doing there, again?

And then, in the distance, she spotted two familiar faces.

Her lungs fully inflated for what felt like the first time in weeks. She quickly made her way over to them.

“ _Oi, you look awful,_ ” she heard one of them say in a wary sort of tone. “ _What’ve you--_ ”

And because that was the first sentence she’d been able to make sense of since getting on the ship, she hugged the person it came out of… despite the squawk he let out in protest.

She’d missed them so much.

* * *

****xXxXxXx****

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - I admit I haven’t had much motivation to write lately. I’m in the US so the election here was… a lot (and still going on for my home state of Georgia), and the holidays have also been stressful. On top of that, I wrote, scrapped, and then re-wrote the last third of this chapter no less than 5 times. I’m still not completely happy with it, tbh, but I knew I’d never get it out if I didn’t say “F--- it, post that shit” eventually. The handful of supportive reviews I’ve received since the last chapter were really the only thing that kept me going with this dumb series. Lol. Thank you guys so much. 
> 
> So… surprise…? She’s a Manipulator, y’all. Hopefully this adds yet another weird dimension to her relationship with Illumi. Her abilities aren’t super original, I suppose, but I really liked the narrative potential of them and I hope to have fun with it in the future.
> 
> This probably goes without saying, but given the many conditions and parameters, I hope I’ve made it clear that this isn’t some OP skillset she’s going to unlock here. I’m excited to show how she can use it in some scenarios, but again, it’s “Power of Suggestion,” with emphasis on the suggestion part.
> 
> * - In case you guys aren’t aware, the conversion rate between HxH Jenny to US dollars is similar to what the exchange rate between Japanese yen and dollars was at the time the manga printed. 1$ is roughly 134 Jenny, according to the wiki. So 1000 Jenny would be somewhere around $7.50 or $3.75 per fillet.
> 
> Thanks a bunch to everyone who’s made it this far! I’ll miss the Aranui family, but the last thing I wanted was for them to overstay their welcome. Hopefully now that Rem’s back with the gang, things’ll pick up again for you guys. I know a little angst snuck in there at the end, but I hope you’ll stick around as we liven up and get back to canon events!
> 
> Until next time, all!


	4. Solstice

_The summer solstice marks_ _a climactic_ _turning point_ _in our yearly journey through the seasons._

 _It is important to note that while the sun lengthens each day leading up to the solstice, the night also begins its campaign to dominate daylight_ _once_ _th_ _e_ _seasonal shift takes effect._

 _It_ _is a reminder that we should appreciate beauty while we have_ _it…_

_…_ _as beauty will one day end_ _._

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

* * *

****

“You look nervous.”

“ _Hah_? No I don’t,” Killua disagreed, caught off-guard. “What do I have to be nervous about?”

“I dunno.” Gon dropped the accusation with a smiling ease that, for some reason, irritated his friend immensely. Like, why even bring it up then? The Zoldyck heir rolled his shoulders back in a conscious effort to chill out. He wasn’t nervous. Why should he be?

He was just… sort of, a little bit… apprehensive of how things would work in their little friend group from now on. He’d gotten used to it being just him and Gon against the world, and Rem being not only a third party, but also something of a _soft-touch_ meant that things were definitely going to change.

Flashes of an awful, frilled dress and cracked ribs suddenly flashed across his mind…

Now that the boys had experienced some of the real dangers inherent in the world of professional Hunters, Killua couldn’t help thinking the older girl might be wandering a little out of her depth, following them into it. He’d never seriously doubted her ability to handle herself in something like the Hunter Exam… but in the wider world of nen and the higher stakes that came with it?

Hopefully he was wrong. Hopefully she’d improved. Either way, it was her choice, and there was nothing he could really _do_ to prevent it, if she was determined to stick by them…

“Ah! I see sails!” Gon announced. Excitement had him jumping out of his seat at the pier.

Killua only leaned his head further back into the comfortable cradle of his hands, stretching out in his own seat. “It’ll take at least another half-hour for them to dock and get everyone off the ship, dummy.”

“I don’t see her,” Gon murmured, cupping his hands around his eyes like makeshift binoculars and squinting at what little he could see of the deck from several hundred meters away. Privately, Killua was impressed at his ability to make out _any_ people, and chalked it up to his friend’s naturally Enhanced senses.

“Stupid’s probably on the wrong side of the boat or something,” he chortled, not hearing the fondness that crept into his own voice. “She sounded at least as excited as you were in her letters, so she’ll probably be one of the first ones off.”

“Maybe…” Something about the sudden doubt in Gon’s tone had Killua slowly getting to his feet.

By the time the ship docked, he was properly confused. There was no sign of Rem on deck, nor in the crowd of people beginning to disembark.

Spotting Gon’s worried frown, Killua tried waving off both their concerns. “She’s too nice to push, so the others probably just shoved her to the back of the line or something. Let’s get closer so she can see us.”

They waited impatiently as people milled around them, boarding other ships or transportation to get away from the pier. As the crowd thinned out more, and the line of people leaving the ship slowed to a trickle, Gon and Killua drifted closer to the gangway, hoping to catch sight of their friend.

“Do you think she missed the boat?” Killua wondered if she really could have been that careless. Surely she wouldn’t have missed something so important to her…?

“There!” Gon cried, pointing out a small figure at the end of the procession.

It paused, seemed to register the voice as familiar, and shuffled towards them.

Killua wouldn’t have picked her out of the crowd in a million years.

For one thing, while he never would have called her pale before, her naturally tanned complexion had darkened a bit over the summer. The difference was startling, but hardly worth mentioning compared to other, more worrisome changes that grew apparent the closer she got…

Killua could hear the pained hitch in Gon’s breathing as they both realized what seemed so off about their friend.

Her eyes looked… _haunted,_ and painfully bloodshot - as if she’d been awake for days. Her dark, unbound hair - which she’d always tried her best to keep braided before - was longer, and tangled to the point that even to the untrained eye, it was obviously going to need careful tending to get all the snarls out.

The most alarming thing was that her whole body appeared to be shaking slightly. Coupled with her lethargic movements, he guessed she hadn’t eaten or exercised properly in at least a few days. More or less, it looked like she’d gotten on the ship, and then just sat there - not allowing herself to do more than breathe - for the entire journey over.

The shock of seeing her had him blurting something out before he’d even thought what to say.

“Oi, you look awful. What’ve you--?” He cut himself off when she visibly jerked - glassy eyes clearing just a bit - and her body shifted in his direction.

That was all the warning he got before his arms were suddenly full of teenage girl. 

His whole body tensed in response to being touched.

He hadabsolutely _NO_ idea what to do… Reciprocation didn’t even cross his mind. Even if it had, he wouldn’t have dared, as the circumstances felt foreign and just categorically _bad_.

A noise came from his throat that didn’t sound at all cool or dignified, but he put that aside for the moment to stare up - pleading and aghast - at Gon.

‘ _What do I do?_ ,’ he mouthed. The last thing he wanted was to bolt, but he was starting to sweat in his panic, and he had no clue what he was supposed to do with his hands - setting them down anywhere on her person was out of the question - and Rem was… soft… in areas that made the sweat and hand issues worse, and --

Gon wasted no time coming forward and taking control of the situation, earning Killua’s undying gratitude for the third or fourth time in their friendship. Killua supposed he’d just have to get used to owing Gon for the rest of their lives.

His friend laid a careful hand on Rem’s back, calling to her softly, “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

Killua nearly exhaled with relief when she immediately turned and shifted her embrace to Gon at the sound of his soothing voice. He was glad the other boy seemed to have a better idea of how to handle this.

The Enhancer wasn’t doing much beyond letting her cling to him, but his body language was solid and patient, with one hand resting against her back. Occasionally, he gave her a soft pat, as if to reassure her of their presence…

She cried and shook, but her body finally seemed to relax and eventually, her tears subsided in a sequence of wet sniffles.

“D’you have a tissue?” Gon asked him over her shoulder, looking slightly grossed out despite how well he’d managed the situation. To his credit, he was still holding her. In his place, Killua might’ve peeled his own skin off to escape at the first sign of snot.

“Oh yeah, let me just check my purse,” he drawled. He succeeded at getting a small, watery giggle out of Rem, and immediately the atmosphere lifted.

All three loosened up a bit, and Rem let go of Gon with a rueful, but recovered sigh.

“There’s handkerchiefs in my bag, you guys… No, not the one with flowers. I don’t want to get it dirty.”

****oOoOoOo** **

****

“So you’re Airem? It’s so nice to finally meet you! The boys have been talking about you nonstop since they got here.”

Gon’s Aunt Mito was super nice, Rem decided. Instead of questioning her ragged appearance and swollen eyes, the older woman had taken one look at her, offered a heaping helping of dinner, and started in on some friendly introductions.

“If Gon doesn’t volunteer to take the floor for you, let me know. I’ll kick him out of the bed myself if I have to.”

Gon whined plaintively that he would have volunteered without the harassment.

“That’s okay,” Rem rushed to swallow so she could reassure them both. “I don’t mind the floor at all! I like having the room to stretch out, actually.” She’d gotten used to it at her grandmother’s house and knew she’d sleep just fine.

Mito smiled warmly and left the group of teens to bustle around the kitchen, cleaning up after the meal. Gon was conscripted into washing dishes, much to his dismay. Killua laughed at his misfortune until Mito handed him a dish towel and cheerily ordered him to dry. The mystified look on his face - he’d probably never done a single household chore in his life - had Rem grinning into her second helping of curry.

Her earlier angst had not been forgotten, but she found herself putting it aside for the moment. It was surprisingly easy to do after brooding on it for the entire voyage over. Being around her friends was _cleansing_ in a way she hadn’t anticipated… but she welcomed it fully, even if she didn’t feel up to contributing much to the banter going on around her.

She was content to listen as Gon accused Killua of not drying thoroughly enough, to which the other boy argued that Gon was purposely handing him dishes too quickly. Things were escalating to playful fisticuffs, and Rem had to wonder if the boys were being extra goofy for her sake.

If they were, it was working. She felt her body release its built-up tension and for a while, she just _enjoyed_ the warm atmosphere…

Mito gently shook her awake after she nodded off the third time. “You can take a bath first if you like. You look like you could use a good soak and some rest.”

Rem agreed, embarrassed by her sorry state. Hygiene hadn’t been very high on her list of priorities while sailing, and she knew she probably didn’t smell great.

Mito led the way to the bathroom and made sure she had everything she needed - toothbrush, clean pajamas, towels, etc. - before offering to help her with her hair.

“Some of those tangles might be hard to get out without an extra pair of hands,” she winced sympathetically. “Actually, it might be easier if we just--”

“--Cut it?” Rem finished, voice trembling a bit.

_Ruffles. Pleats and white stockings. A frantic struggle over a pair of scissors…_

“Only if you’re comfortable with it,” Mito said, kindly. “I’m definitely no hairdresser, so I won’t be offended if you want to wait until you get to the city.”

_“_ No, I’d like that. If it’s not too much trouble for you,” Rem found herself agreeing. Despite everything, a change sounded good.

Her immediate fear response troubled her though. Had that episode from back on the mountain really traumatized her so much? Maybe she was just feeling extra vulnerable because she was still processing the news about her mom…

Yes, that must be it. All these thoughts of mothers and motherly things had her on edge… which wasn’t fair to Mito at all. Only one evening with her and Rem already knew she was about as different a mother-figure from Kikyo Zoldyck as it was possible to be. Even now, she was combing through Rem’s hair with soothing, maternal familiarity, mumbling to herself on how best to approach each knot.

If her life had gone differently - and the Zoldycks had never become involved - would it be her _own_ mother seating her in front of the mirror, draping a warm towel over her shoulders?

Mito was nice enough not to comment when her face scrunched up and she sniffled loudly. She didn’t want to cry again. She was sick to death of crying.

“We’ll just do a trim, okay? Cut off all the dead ends.”

_Yes_ , she thought. That’s exactly what she wanted…

****oOoOoOo** **

****

The next day started with a grand tour of the island.

Gon wanted to show her all the sights, while Killua just wanted her to stop looking like she was about to burst into tears all the time.

He shouldn’t have worried. A haircut, bath, and full night’s rest had done wonders to improve her mood. While she wasn’t quite _cheerful_ , she was at least not holding herself back from enjoying the markets and breathtaking seaside views.

“ _This--_ ” Rem made a broad, sweeping gesture at the sunlit horizon over crystal blue waters. Gon had taken them to the top of his favorite cliff. “-- is what I always imagined the ocean was supposed to look like.”

“Azure Shores is a coastal town too, I thought?” Gon said, confused.

“Yeah, but it’s colder on that side of the continent, I think. The waters there are rough all the time, and the color’s really more gray than blue.”

“Weird,” Gon replied. The three young teens sat right along the edge of the cliff, leaning back on their hands to look out over the bay together. The boys were carelessly dangling their feet over the ledge, while Rem simply crossed hers.

“So what have you guys been doing since you got here?” She was already mostly up-to-date on their adventures at the Arena, thanks to the few letters they’d sent.

Immediately, she was met with two excited faces.

“Oh man, we have so much to tell you! Gon found his--”

“-- I got a message from my Dad! He said all this stuff about some game!--

“-- Not just any game. _Greed Island!_ Tell me you’ve heard of--”

The next few minutes were very confusing, but she eventually managed to get the gist…

“So, he _told_ you he didn’t want to meet you?” She asked, once she was finally able to get a word in edgewise. This was the detail that stood out to her the most in a narrative full of Joy Stations and shady internet deals. “That seems… messed up.”

Gon sobered, and even Killua turned thoughtful.

They were all thinking of what Rem had shared with them before they’d gone to bed the previous night. She’d spared them some of the more depressing parts, but they’d stayed up almost until sunrise listening to her tell them all about her summer.

“I’m lucky,” Gon decided abruptly. “I never thought of Ging as my dad, really. And the only mom I’ve ever needed was Aunt Mito. When I heard him say those things on the recording… It didn’t really make me sad or angry; I just want to find him - to prove to him that I can.”

“Why though?” She couldn’t help asking. She understood that their circumstances were different, but it was impossible not to compare her own reasons for tracking down her family to Gon’s. He made it sound almost like a _whim_ , so why put himself through that…?

His only response was an enigmatic smile.

And a shrug, which made Killua bark in laughter. The guy really was something…

She thought for a minute. His goal seemed strange to her, but… in a way, she actually _had_ done something similar with her own father, hadn’t she? He’d made it clear - more than once, actually - that he wanted nothing to do with her, and what had she done?

  
She’d made an effort to coexist with him anyway; reached out to him in small ways all throughout the summer. True, it was less for their relationship - she and Gon had that in common, as well - and more to do with making a kind of peace for herself… Maybe Gon was trying to do the same thing? In his own way?

“Can I come with you guys?” She suddenly blurted. The boys gave her matching looks of befuddlement.

“Yeah. Wasn’t that always the plan?” Killua said, taking it upon himself to speak for both of them. Gon nodded along.

“Well, the plan was always to go to Yorknew City together, but… it sounds like you guys have lots of plans after that… I was just wondering if you-- Do you mind me still tagging along, after?” It was hard to keep the insecurity out of her voice as she spoke.

Sure they wanted her around now, but this quest to find Gon’s dad sounded like a long, daunting one… Would they still want her beside them three months from now? Six…?

“Don’t worry about that, Rem. We’ll always want you around.” Gon replied, cutting to the heart of the matter in that easy, almost supernatural way of his that Rem always found so comforting.

An embarrassed “ _Jeez…_ ” was all they got from Killua. He didn’t disagree with Gon’s sentiments… He just wished they didn’t have to have these kinds of touchy-feely chats so often.

Rem, noting the blush on Kil’s cheeks, opted not to say anything that would make him more uncomfortable. She just let herself smile and turned her attention to the sunset.

****oOoOoOo** **

****

“Explain what we’re doing again?” Killua ground out, ready to punch the next person who asked them who they were shopping for - as if it was any of their business... To say he was out of his depth among all the flowers, frills, and pastels was an understatement.

“Rem said her birthday is the 25th and since we’ll probably be busy as soon as we get to the city, we’re going to surprise her and celebrate early!”

“... _Why_?” The Zoldyck heir was honestly baffled. Birthdays had never meant much to him. His own had passed him by with barely a mention while they’d still been in the Arena.

His family used them mainly as developmental milestones marking how much he’d exceeded their expectations over the course of a year. He’d actually learned to dread them a little, given the invisible countdown over his head to when he’d have to take over the family business… He pictured it ticking down ominously every 7th of July.

“It was Aunt Mito’s idea, really,” Gon admitted, considering some earrings at a jewelry stall. “But I think it would cheer her up a lot if we do something fun for her before we leave. Does Rem have pierced ears?”

“Dunno. They might get yanked out in a fight though.” Gon made a disappointed noise but obligingly turned his attention to some bracelets instead. “Still not sure why birthdays in general are such a big deal, anyway…”

“I mean, they are to some people I guess… I really only got excited when my aunt pointed out it would be kinda like a _joint_ party.” Gon gingerly picked up a rose-gold chain bracelet with huge rubies in it and gave him a considering eyebrow-raise. Killua pulled a face and shook his head. Too gaudy. WAY too gaudy.

“What does that mean?”

“Y’know. _You_ had a birthday a few weeks ago, _Rem’s_ is only a little more than a week away… Mine was a few months ago, so technically, we’re all summer babies.”

“ _Summer babies?_ What are you, a middle-aged woman?” Killua scoffed, disgusted that anyone could look at him - bloodstained ex-assassin that he was - and call him a _baby_ with a straight face.

“I’m just saying, it’s a cool coincidence! And it’s also like a… going-away celebration too,” Gon replied, looking a bit conflicted all of a sudden. Uncomfortable that he’d helped steer the discussion to this point, Kil nudged him away from the stall they were perusing.

“Shouldn’t we avoid jewelry? Isn’t that something a _boyfriend_ usually gets?”

“Huh? Who says that?”

“You need to read more manga,” Killua said, hoping he’d successfully distracted his friend. “We should get one gift and split the cost.”

Gon gave him a suspicious look. “You just don’t feel like trying to pick something.”

“ _Hah?_ No, I just thought one really _nice_ thing would be better than two _okay_ things,” he denied, smirking in a way that only further convinced Gon he was right.

The Enhancer grinned a little, despite himself. At least Kil was actively participating now, despite his grumbling. He couldn’t help but notice his friend sometimes showed a bit of a soft spot where Airem was concerned. It was subtle, but he was pretty sure he would’ve gotten way more sullen attitude about this whole enterprise if they’d been shopping for, say, Leorio or Kurapika instead.

“Hey, what about…?” Kil’s voice broke into his thoughts, making Gon realize his friend had wandered off a bit. No doubt to get away from the more… _aggressively_ feminine sundries around them.

He’d cut himself off abruptly - like he was mortified to have suggested anything at all - but his attention was still on an array of colorful bottles at one particular stall. They were arranged on something that looked like a multi-tier spice rack, and each bottle was labeled neatly with the fragrances inside.

“Oh, nice! Perfume is good. We just have to pick something she’d like.” Killua turned a little red at the praise and backed away, happy to let Gon take over.

When she found she had some customers - young ones! - the owner of the stall bustled over, beaming widely. Kil felt himself flush harder under her gaze and glared, silently forbidding her from talking to him. She faltered a second and then turned her attention to the other young man. He, at least, she knew by reputation and name.

“You must be Gon Freecss! Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Gon replied politely. He was used to people on the Island recognizing him. There weren’t many children.

“Are you getting something for your Aunt Mito? I happen to know she _loves_ the scent of pomegranates and--”

“Actually, we’re looking for something for our friend,” Killua interrupted, somewhat rudely. He didn’t like mindless chitchat to begin with, and he just wanted to be _done_ with this already.

The woman wrinkled her nose at him, obviously offended. Gon hurried to rectify the situation with his most winning smile.

“Sorry about him. He’s just embarrassed. He’s never bought anything for a girl before.”

The glare Killua threw him could have scorched ice, but luckily, the merchant-woman only took it as proof of his bashfulness. She ‘ahh-ed’ sympathetically.

“I see, well you boys just take your time with the samples, and let me know what you decide. I have them arranged by their middle notes from top to bottom: floral, citrus, and spice.”

They thanked her and turned to the display with some trepidation. Neither had any idea what ‘middle notes’ were, so they began choosing at random.

Quickly, they realized there was no rhyme or reason to the organization of perfumes.

“This smells like grass,” Killua complained, putting the stopper (which he’d been holding under his nose since the bottle itself was way too potent) back. “Why’s it in the ‘spices’ section?”

Gon shrugged but kept his mouth firmly shut. He looked a little queasy, which Killua guessed was because the smaller boy had such a sensitive nose.

“Maybe we should look for something else?”

“No time,” Gon managed to get out. “We need it today.”

Without real hope, Killua reached for yet another smallish brown bottle in the ‘spice’ section. He found he didn’t like florals much; they all reminded him more or less of the scents his mother always wore… _Shudder_.

He took a brief sniff… Orange? Something that smelled kind of like orange? It wasn’t bad, and he puzzled over it just long enough to take a few more breaths. To his surprise, holding the stopper under his nose for longer than a minute meant that once he got used to the initial wave of citrus, he was able to pick out a deeper, richer scent underneath.

“I think I got the middle note thing she was talking about,” he said, letting himself take another full whiff of the product.

It was sweet to the point of smelling almost _edible_ , but the light orange note on top kept it from being too much. There was the slightest hint of spice behind everything and all together - though they didn’t smell _exactly_ the same - it brought to mind some of his favorite fruit pastries and cakes.

Confident in his choice, he put the stopper back in its place. “This one. Its the only one that hasn’t given me a headache since we started.”

“Okay, let me smell.” Gon thought he could manage testing one more bottle, since Kil sounded so sure about it. He was proven right when the soft, sweet scent hit his nose without triggering a wave of nausea. “Oh, nice! Makes me think of pies.”

The boys agreed that baked foods smelled _inarguably_ better than boring old flowers, so surely their choice had to be correct…

“Cool. We have the present, so let’s pay for it and get out of here!” Killua said, ready to be done with this. Gon waved to get the sales lady’s attention.

The owner of the perfume stall came over to take their money and seemed impressed with their selection. “Oh, that’s a popular one with the younger girls. If she’s around your age, I’m sure she’ll like it!”

“Thanks,” Killua gritted out, willing her to box up the fresh bottle a little faster. It ended up being a little pricey with the special shatter-resistant glass bottle they chose - he winced a bit, thinking of Greed Island and the auction - but between the two of them, it didn’t make _too_ big a dent in their Arena fortunes.

Hopefully, she’d like it.

****oOoOoOo** **

“Happy birthday!” Mito practically sang as she handed her a bright bag with a bow on it.

Thankfully, Rem hadn’t been _completely_ blindsided, as the whole birthday subject had been brought up only a few days before. But still, she felt a little guilty.

“You really didn’t have to get me anything, Mito. You’ve been so nice to me already…”

“Nonsense. It was fun to shop for something pretty for once. Gon hardly wears anything other than those green jumpsuits of his, and _I_ haven’t needed new clothes in a long time.”

With a thankful smile, Rem opened up the bag to find something creamy and pink inside.

Well, not pink. Peach. A slightly warmer shade of the color that she hoped would look pretty on her skintone.

“I had to guess the size,” Mito put in, worriedly. “I hope it fits.”

“ _Wow,_ ” she whispered, not even realizing she’d said it aloud. It was a floaty shift dress, creamy white at the top before darkening in a gentle ombre to the rich shade of peach that she’d seen before. The sleeves had cuffs at the bottom to keep them close to the wrists, but other than that, they floated loosely, echoing the fit of the dress.

It was now easily the most gorgeous piece of clothing she owned, and she was terrified knowing she’d have to pack it in her bag at some point. Hopefully it wouldn’t get ruined on the road.

“M-Mito, I--” She was overwhelmed. It was a beautiful present from someone who really ought to feel more like a stranger than she was. “ _Thank you_.”

“You’re welcome,” Mito replied warmly. “If you _really_ want to thank me, wear it with your hair down… Ooh, I can’t wait to see the reaction you get from the boys!”

Rem felt her ears heat up a little. She hadn’t thought about it… and now it was suddenly _all_ she could think about. Would they think she was trying too hard? Looking dressed up far beyond what she usually wore?

****oOoOoOo** **

****

The Transmuter was beginning to wonder if something might be seriously wrong with him…

It had been a weird day for sure, but that didn’t quite explain the strange feeling he got in his stomach as soon as Rem came out of the kitchen, smiling shyly as she helped Mito set the table.

‘ _I mean, she looks… different, but that shouldn’t be a big deal..._ ’ He’d seen her dressed up all fancy before, after all. ‘ _I mean, never this… pretty, but still._ ’

Pretty? He meant pretty-ish.

Pretty-adjacent, maybe.

‘ _Bright’_ was probably a better - safer - word to use. The color she wore was certainly more eye-catching than her usual faded blacks, browns, and grays, and it brought out the warmer tones in her skin.

Without his permission, he felt his spine straighten out of its lazy half-slouch. He kept doing different things with his hands; one minute shoving them in his pockets, the next tapping a distracted rhythm on the back of his chair.

His mother would have called it fidgeting.

When the time came for the boys to present their gift, Killua felt the strangeness in his gut return. For some reason, he didn’t want to watch. What if she hated it?

Her sharp gasp brought him out of his thoughts.

“Ah, this smells amazing! Where did you guys get this? Mito, come have a smell, it’s amazing!” Her happiness and exuberance had to be unfeigned… If he knew nothing else about her, he knew that lying was not Rem’s strong suit.

The relief he felt was matched only by the satisfaction.

She liked it.

She _really_ liked something _he_ had picked… He must be better friend material than he gave himself credit for!

Across the room, Gon watched his friends smile warmly at each other. A lightbulb was flickering in his head, and a delighted grin was slowly making its way across his face.

‘ _Oh yeah. Definitely a soft spot.’_

Yorknew City was going to be interesting.

* * *

****xXxXxXx** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Y’all ready to get into some romance? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> In case astrology is not your thing, August 25th being her birthday means that our girl is a Virgo. For a struggling perfectionist whose worst critic is usually herself… I thought it was very apropos. Also, if you guys want to see a picture of her dress, I found it on Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/853995148091244631/
> 
> So I know I’m playing up Gon’s intuition quite a bit in this chapter, but despite his obliviousness in some areas, I’ve always seen Gon as someone with excellent instincts. I definitely think he’d start noticing things before either of his blockhead friends got a clue… But maybe I’m wrong? Let me know what you guys thought of his characterization!
> 
> We took a breather in this chapter, I know. Character interactions all around, and not much else, honestly. But I think it was important to re-establish the connections between our main three. Yes, this is ultimately a Killua/OC story, but Gon’s friendship is a huge part of BOTH their lives, and we’ll be seeing a ton of him in this installment.
> 
> Also - the “Hah?” vs. “Huh?” thing that no one asked about, and probably no one cares about, but I still want to explain: Some writers use them interchangeably, I know, but they sound very different in my head - to the point that I can only justify Killua using the more Japanese-sounding one. “Huh?” sounds generally clueless to me while “Hah?” carries a belligerence to it that I feel suits him way better. I feel like some words and phrases simply don’t translate well sometimes, and this is one of those cases.
> 
> Sorry for the lateness in updating! Life’s still a bit crazy atm. Made it a longer chapter to hopefully make up for it. I’m thinking next one might be a little easier since it’ll be back to following canon events again. But we shall see. 
> 
> Until then, thanks everyone! Take a leaf out of Rem’s book and practice some self-care this weekend for V-Day! Whether you’re happily attached or single - you deserve it! :)


End file.
